Jim Gaffigan

Best sandwich?

pastrami sandwich from Katz's Deli

What was your first concert?

James Taylor. I was 16. I had gotten my license that day.

What is the scariest animal?

a drunk New York Rangers fan

Apples or oranges?

Obviously apples, right? Oranges way too much work.

Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

I stood in line to get J.J. Walker's — Jimmy J.J. Dynamite Kid Walker — and he signed my dynamite hat.

What do you think happens when we die?

it's probably bad. I'm just too Catholic.

Favorite action movie?

Driving Miss Daisy, probably.

Window or aisle?

Window, and I do not feel any guilt when I get up and make that person feel bad.

Favorite smell?

bacon

Least favorite smell?

some of the odors that come out of children, particularly teenage boys

Earliest memory?

drinks were spilled on me when I was a little kid

Cats or dogs?

dogs

You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?

—

What number am I thinking of?

—

Describe the rest of your life in 5 words.

—