1.

Best sandwich?

Peanut butter and jelly, white bread

2.

What was your first concert?

3.

What is the scariest animal?

The spitting cobra because it's rude

4.

Apples or oranges?

Apples of course

5.

Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

I still do

6.

What do you think happens when we die?

We go into syndication

7.

Favorite action movie?

Raiders of the Lost Ark

8.

Window or aisle?

9.

Favorite smell?

My newborn babies

10.

Least favorite smell?

My newborn babies

11.

Earliest memory?

12.

Cats or dogs?

13.

You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?

That's All recorded by Nat King Cole

14.

What number am I thinking of?

Seven

15.

Describe the rest of your life in 5 words.

Sex sex sex laughs sex

Billy Crystal Takes the Colbert Questionert – Coal Bare